I'm hearing only bad news from Radio Africa

I remember at the Italia 90 World Cup when Cameroon got to the quarter finals and were unluckily beaten by England everyone saying it was only a matter of time before an African side won the World Cup. The breakthrough would come some time in the next 20 years. What no one predicted was that Cameroon’s 1990 performance would be remain an African high water mark, equalled only by Senegal who also went out in quarter-final extra time in 2002.

Things have gone backwards since then. With one round of the group matches left to go in the first ever African World Cup, it remains a distinct possibility that no African side will make it through to the last 16. South Africa, Ivory Coast and Nigeria are almost certainly out already. Algeria has some hope in the group of sleep but will probably lose to USA. That leaves Ghana who top their group currently ahead of Germany and Serbia. However their lacklustre performance against a poor ten-man Australian side suggests that they will probably lose to Germany and allow Serbia to grab the other place with a win or draw against Australia.

Just about the one African innovation of note in this World Cup is not the football but the vuvuzela. The infamous horn has split sporting fans across the world who either love it for its ability to get the fans involved or, more usually hate it for its incessant one-pitched drone which drowns out every other noise in the stadium. Problems with the vuvuzela were identified as early as the 2009 Confederation Cup which acted as a dress rehearsal for the hosts. FIFA boss Sepp Blatter went on the record saying he didn’t want to ban the vuvuzela saying “we should not try to Europeanise an African World Cup.”

As with most things Blatter says, this was hypocritical bullshit. It had nothing to do with anti-colonialism and everything to do with office politics. There is certainly no long history of the vuvuzela’s use in Africa or elsewhere. Plastic horns first emerged in Mexico in the 1970s and were seen at the Argentina 1978 World Cup. They didn’t become popular in South Africa until 20 years later. With its dangerously high sound level and closeness to the frequency of human speech, the horns are detestable and Blatter probably hates them as much as anyone who is not playing them. What the FIFA President was really saying is that he was not prepared to risk African votes deserting him during the 2011 presidential election.

But while Blatter is busy buying votes, the tournament he runs is starting to gather pace after a slow start. The first week saw a succession of negative games and 1-0 scorelines. Desperately poor and uneven refereeing didn’t help. The code’s complete refusal to use technology to help the refs leaves it looking a laughing stock compared to the range of facilities available to rugby, cricket and tennis umpires.

This is especially ludicrous now that the referees and assistants are wired up to talk to each other. It would not take long to talk to a fourth or fifth official in the stands with access to replays, goal-line incidents and offside decisions. The oft-quoted excuse that it would “interrupt the flow of the game” beggars belief especially when considering how many interruptions currently exist when players fall over under the slightest provocation.

But back to the football itself. I’ve mentioned the problems with Africa, but Europe does not seem in much better health. A European team has never won the competition outside its home continent and this statistic is likely to continue in South Africa. Germany looked strong against Australia only to fold against Serbia. Meanwhile Italy, France and England all lack a cutting edge. Favourites Spain inexplicably lost to Switzerland and may find it impossible to recover from the shock of that loss. The Dutch look the best of the Europeans so far but don’t really have the aura of trophy winners.

The same cannot be said of Brazil and Argentina. Both sides have aura in abundance and won their games easily. With the right amount of fortune they should end up playing each other in the first all-South American final since 1950 (or 1930 if you are being picky and say there was no actual final in 1950) and the first ever final between these two old foes. It would be hilarious to watch Diego Maradona pick up another world cup trophy, despite all his obvious flaws and apparent madness. I suspect Brazil have slightly too much guile to make that happen, but it is Argentina and its current on-field genius Lionel Messi that have my heart as we head into the next few fascinating weeks.

FIFA Frenzy

One day to go. The world expectantly awaits the start of the 18th football World Cup. Hosts Germany kick it off on Friday June 9 with a game in Munich v Costa Rica. Well, most of the world is expectantly awaiting. The US and Canada will be notable exceptions. But for everyone else from Santiago to Sydney and from Dublin to Durban, the biggest sporting event of the year takes place for the next month in Germany.

Football is run under the auspices of FIFA (Fédération Internationale de Football Association) and it has a larger membership than the UN – 205 in FIFA compared to 191 in the UN. Headquartered in Zürich, it a very powerful international organisation. The current president of FIFA is also Swiss, Sepp Blatter. Blatter is an extremely controversial figure in the game, not least due to his call for women's football to become sexier. Born in the small town of Visp in the south-west canton of Valais, Blatter graduated with a Bachelor's degree in Business Administration and Economics from the Faculty of Law at Lausanne University. Working for Longines SA, he was involved in the organisation of the 1972 and 1976 Olympics. He was then hired by FIFA as as Technical Director (1975-1981) and then as General Secretary (1981-1998). He rose to the pinnacle of football administration in 1998 after a bitter election victory over the European federation (UEFA) boss Lennart Johansson. In the internecine struggles of high sports politics, Blatter is seen to owe his power to the Asia and African bloc of countries. He was instrumental in getting South Africa to host the finals in 2010.

FIFA was founded in Paris in 1904. The laws of football had been codified in the 1860s in public school England. Melvyn Bragg chose the Football Book of Laws, written in 1863, as one of his “12 Books That Changed The World.” As a result of the laws, the game saw a explosion of popularity in England, especially in working class areas. It had two advantages over its competitor, rugby: it could be played anywhere and it could be played by anybody, of any build. Factory teams sprang up across Britain as did pub, police and church teams. These games started to attract spectators. And with it the paraphenalia of spectator sports; tickets, turnstiles and telegraphic terminals for recording results. In 1872 England and Scotland played the first international game which ended 0-0. A scoreless outcome was set as a valid result. The same year, the knock-out Football Association (FA) Cup was first contested. Also in that year, English sailors in Le Havre introduced the game to France. The game quickly spread through that country. English travellers, migrants, embassy officials and colonial authorities took the game around the world where it quickly took root. An English professor at Montevideo University formed the first club in Uruguay in 1882 and British railway workers soon formed a second. The number of inter-nation matches increased as football spread and the need emerged for a global governing body. It was thought that this body should be based in Britain to reflect the origins of the game. But the inward looking football associations of the FA and the other three home nations (Scotland, Ireland and Wales) unanimously rejected such a body. Continental Europe decided to go ahead without Britain and FIFA was born in Paris in May 1904. It had an initial membership of seven countries; France, Belgium, Denmark, Netherlands, Spain, Sweden, and Switzerland. Germany joined up the same year.

Early attempts to form a tournament failed with no interest from Britain in the idea. Despite this, England joined FIFA as early as 1905. The FA organised the Olympic football tournaments in 1908 and 1912. By this time FIFA had gone inter-continental with South Africa, Argentine, Chile and the US joining up. FIFA was moribund during World War I and reconvened in 1919. Britain was not interested in renewing football ties with old enemies and boycotted FIFA until after the World War II. Frenchman Jules Rimet was elected chairman in 1921. He gave the movement new vigour. He was president for 33 years and the organisation expanded to 85 member countries under his watch. FIFA took over the Olympic Games football and ran the events in 1924 and 1928. 60,000 people watched the Uruguay beat Switzerland in the 1924 Olympic final in Paris. Buoyed by this success, Rimet wanted to stage a World Championship event. In 1929, the FIFA congress in Barcelona awarded the inaugural event of 1930 to Uruguay which would be celebrating its 100th anniversary of independence that year.

Unfortunately the 1929 stock market crash had international repercussions and Europe was in the middle of an economic crisis. All but four European countries pulled out as a result. The hosts Uruguay beat neighbours Argentina 4-2 in the first final. Mussolini’s Italy won the rights to host the next tournament in 1934. This was the first tournament to be broadcast by radio. Holders Uruguay returned the snub of 1930 and refused to participate. Italy, with the likely interference of Mussolini with the choice of referees, won on home soil. South America was outraged when the 1938 tournament was again awarded to Europe, this time France. Uruguay and Argentina boycotted again. Italy retained the title they won in 1934.

The tournament resumed after the war with the British nations finally taking part in 1950. It was held in Brazil and the trophy renamed the Jules Rimet Cup in honour of the 25th anniversary of his presidency of FIFA. India had qualified for the first (and only) time ever but withdrew because they were not allowed to play barefoot. England’s long awaited debut was inauspicious, they crashed out in the first round after an ignominious defeat to the part-time USA team 1-0. Uruguay went on to win their second championship beating the hosts in the de facto final 2-1. The attendance for the game is still a world record: 199,854 people in one sporting venue.

1954 was FIFA’s 50th anniversary and they celebrated it by playing the World Cup in its host country, Switzerland. The Marvellous Magyars, Hungary, were unbeaten in four years leading to the final but were shocked 3-2 in the final by West Germany in what became the ‘Miracle of Bern’. The victory gave pride back to a defeated nation and kick-started the German economic recovery of the fifties and sixties. Brazil began its domination of the modern game with victories in the 1958, 1962 and 1970 spearheaded by a young genius called Edson Arantes do Nascimento better known as Pelé. England interrupted the sequence and won their only trophy on home soil in 1966. Germany and Argentina did likewise in 1974 and 1978 respectively. Both sides beat the brilliant Dutch in the final. The Netherlands’ best player in 1974, Johan Cruyff refused to play in Argentina due to the military coup that took place there two years before the tournament. It is likely his attitude cost them the tournament.

The tournament became increasingly globalised and wealthy from the eighties onwards. Television audiences went into the billions. Players and teams were more technically proficient and it became harder for individual brilliance to dominate. 1986 was the last tournament which belonged to one player when Diego Maradona almost single-handedly brought victory to his beloved Argentina. Even Brazil, the samba kings, have succumbed to the trend and won in 1994 and 2002 with much more workmanlike teams than previously. Stars such Ronaldinho, Ronaldo, Kaka and Adriano will hoping to lead a more buccaneering Brazil to the title this time round. But Woolly Days is confident that history will ensure that a European team triumphs in their own continent again, possibly hosts Germany in a repeat of their famous final against the Netherlands of 1974.

But whoever wins it, I'll be enjoying it alongside five billion others. For football fans everywhere, this is as good as it gets. And for humanity, this is as inclusive as it gets.